Mediation Meter

  • Newbie

    Welcome to the interwebs noobs! Buckle up and get ready to feel some broadband-injected, mind-expanding Gs as you surf the information superhighway! It’s like an encyclopedia! Floating in a cloud! Dominated by cat videos! A virtual utopia – but then, aren’t they all?

    Your usage seems to be very low. Perhaps you only recently become interested in the internet and computers in general? Don’t let the trolls get you down – keep on surfing bright eyes!

  • Novice

    All are equal on the internet – just imagine the potential! Now’s your chance to friend your neighbour's cat on facebook, or start a blog and share your uncensored thoughts with a potential audience of billions! (or one, as the case may be ... if you don't count googlebots).

    You don’t use the internet very often, and mainly for practical purposes. You’re generally happy and excited to be online, and might be a new user still caught up in the thrill of discovery.

  • Experienced Browser

    You are normal. Average. Typical. Yes, you read it here first! No drama, no problems, just smooth web surfing on wave after wave of pop culture factoids and cats. You’re experienced, efficient and you seem to know what you're doing. Carry on.

    You are an average on-line user. You may surf the web a bit too long on rare occasions, but overall you have very good control over your usage. Nice one!

  • Virtual Veteran

    The most interesting internet user in the world! You don’t use the internet often, but when you do, it’s in a regulated fashion and mainly for productive purposes, related to work, school or social activities. You’ve achieved balance. Carry on, champ!

    You are an experienced and disciplined internet user. When online, you find what you want efficiently and then disconnect without much distraction. Would you consider sharing your secrets?

  • Heavy User

    You usually go online with a specific purpose, but several hours of mindless browsing later, you can’t for the life of you remember what it was. And do you really need to check your email every five minutes? In other words, you’re stepping into the danger zone, Kenny Loggins.

    You are probably experiencing occasional problems in your social and/or professional life related to your internet usage. You should consider monitoring precisely how much time you spend connected – are you sure you don’t have healthier, happier things you could be doing instead?

  • Over-mediated User

    Whoah. You’re probably already well acquainted with carpal tunnel syndrome, dried-out eyeballs and cubicle butt, but even if you’re happy to ignore these obvious warning signs, consider the unseen psychological damage. Better check yourself before you wreck yourself, holmes.

    Your internet overusage is likely to directly correlate with significant problems in your life. You should evaluate the impact and address the related problems. Time to unplug for a while and rediscover some fellow humans in the real world.

  • Certifiable Addict

    Careful out there, space ranger – you’re pretty much an experimental test pilot for augmented reality contact lenses. Time to put the ‘real’ back in ‘reality.’ Escape won’t be easy, but your holodeck can be reprogrammed to include an exit door.

    Your results indicate that you have an extremely unhealthy relationship with information technology and networked media. You’re compulsively and incessantly online all day and most of the night – do you ever sleep? Our unqualified advice: unplug and seek professional help immediately!

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